What is toxic optimism and why is it dangerous

Andre Spicer, author of Wellness Syndrome, believes that interest in the practice of gratitude is based on a stereotypical belief in self-help methods, according to which you can change your life simply by looking at yourself and others with a more optimistic and positive outlook. . “The idea is that by radiating gratitude you can achieve success in all areas of life,” explains Spicer.

“Knowing the value and importance of something,” said Amy Gordon, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Michigan. We often have to look in that direction, she says, because we are used to taking things for granted – it is called “hedonistic adaptation”. “We also tend to be more vigilant about life, which makes it easier for us to distinguish flaws, not virtues,” Gordon said. Perhaps in the coronavirus era, there is nothing wrong with seeing well more often where possible. The ability to notice the good is great for your health. “In general, more grateful people have fewer health problems (better sleep, less cold,” Gordon said, explaining that gratitude is associated with a more positive mood and better relationships.

Research also shows that gratitude makes it easier to adapt to negative experiences, which explains the popularity of gratitude practices during a pandemic. “In general, those who display more positive emotions in difficult times are more resilient,” Gordon explained, referring to the “silver line” phenomenon in which negative events can be seen as a driving force for positive change.

While most research has shown positive effects of the practice of gratitude, there is evidence to show the toxic side of the habit. Gratitude can stand in the way of coping with adversity. Here’s an example: during the pandemic, you were unhappy with your job, but in the midst of the fact that others faced instability and unemployment, you decided to be grateful for what you had – and this can lead to acceptance of the circumstances and to stay at work. “When people are grateful to have a job, it builds company loyalty, even if they do not like the job,” said Gordon, explaining that while more research is needed in this area, the practice of gratitude can lead to loyalty in situations of unwanted. People with low self-esteem may also be more vulnerable.

Because gratitude motivates us to endure imperfect circumstances, research also shows that gratitude can serve as an excuse for abuse and exploitation. This is because gratitude can “explain” unpleasant moments, for example, in a violent relationship.
Also, gratitude, as well as deeper practices of positive thinking, can lead to duality. “Focusing on what you are grateful for will probably make you focus only on positive information,” Spicer said. This can mean seeing the world through pink glasses, which is good in the short but problematic way of making decisions and achieving long-term results. Spicer explains that if you ignore many different factors (for example, you are so grateful for some of your partner’s traits that you ignore his manifestations of anxiety), it can later become a relationship problem.

What should we do?

Let’s avoid duality. This is not to say that gratitude is bad. Many of us make the mistake of complaining too much and take things for granted often. Research shows that gratitude can be beneficial. However, it is equally beneficial to be more critical of yourself.
The usual practice of gratitude is to write down three things for which you are grateful at the end of the day, and Spicer suggests an alternative method. Add two more items to this list: a list of things you did not like today and a more neutral list of things that confused you. “We have to strive for balance,” says Spicer, who recommends being grateful for the good and being aware of the negative. “This is how we begin to see the world as it is – complex and contradictory.”

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